A Dahl’s House

Went to the Gay Pride parade on Sunday. Never been before, plus a chance to dress up. Had fun, but turned out to be one of those days.

Slept through the alarm so I was running late. Discovered I couldn’t find the new nail polish I really like. Went to an old polish and discovered it was old and gunky. Plan C, put on the Kiss 1-Step nails.

Couldn’t make my mind what to wear. The guy in me said it’s going to be foggy again up in SF, so be sensible wear pants. The CD in me wanted to try out the cute new flirty summer skirt I’d gotten. Guess who won… Fortunately, it wasn’t that cold and the sun came out for a bit mid-day. But sure enough, I was one of the few people in a skirt.

Made a discrete exit and the parked in a nearby office park to do final changes. Unfortunately, in doing so I pulled off one the nails and couldn’t find it. So had to pry the rest of them off as well. Grrr….

Drove up to Daly City to take BART (the subway) in the rest of the way, since traffic would be terrible. Was really nervous since the station was pretty busy, but no one seemed to pay too much notice. Turns out most of them were heading to the parade too, so I probably wasn’t unexpected.

Got to the downtown station where I was supposed to meet some other crossdressers. There were tons of people, so got out my cell to call them—only to discover the battery was dead. (I must not have put it on the charger properly the night before.) Never did find them, so I found myself a place curbside to watch the parade. There are advantages to heels!

Parade went on far longer than I realized. It’s televised locally, but they only show the PG-rated first two hours—dykes on bikes are OK, but the leather daddies are a bit much apparently. After 3 hours I was
starving and finally bailed and walked over to get lunch the Civic Center Plaza, which had been blocked off for a street fair. Walked around for a bit and took in the sights—a booth with whipping demos! Toto I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…—and hoped I’d run into the other girls, but no such luck. Although I did see some over-the-top drag queens who were busy having their photos taken with everyone in sight. Then there was the naked guy who was a “furry” without needing a costume. I think he left a slew of newly converted lesbians in his wake. Nearby there was a woman on a balcony who was flashing herself, blinding a few gay men in the process. A group of women told I was looking nice, but I’m not sure whether they were toying with me. But later on another women complimented me on my skirt, which was nice.

On the subway home, I sat across from a little old Hispanic lady, who gave me a big friendly smile. Bit of a surprise, since Hispanics locally usually aren’t that gay-friendly. (No I’m not, but they assume we are.)

When I got home I discovered that although I’d put sunblock on my face, in my rush I’d forgotten to put some on my bust and I was one crispy critter. Plus I’d gotten a strap line! The burn lines are odd enough in guy-mode, but try explaining that one… Hope the peeling begins soon. At least this time, with some strategically placed moleskin I didn’t get bad blisters again from my shoes.

You can get a Dermablend sampler kit from Fragrence Wholesale (and undoubtedly other retailers). It’s pretty heavy stuff and the shades are limited. I’ve heard some folks
have had success blending it with a regular foundation to both thin it out and to better
color match their skin. (Fortunately, I’m blonde, so I can get away with some yellow stick
and MAC or Prespectives foundation.)

FYI, the Fragrence Wholesale above requires a $25 minimum order, but they stock two other items that are useful that make meeting the minimum pretty painless:

– The undercover crossdressers’ best friend OPI Matte Nail Envy. It’s a nail strengther that’s not shiny unlike the typical clear polishes—in fact, OPI specifically mentions using it for men. There’s a little shine, like you’ve gotten your nails buffed, but nothing that’s a dead giveaway that you’re wearing polish. It will definitely toughen up your nails and prevent breakage. – Minatures of various perfumes. Yes, the cost per ounce is higher than larger bottles, but
OTOH, perfume degrades after a year or two, so you’re not paying for stuff you’ll probably never get a chance to use.

Hair-styles.org shows lots of examples of hair styles. There’s also Stellure which lets you try a styles on a 3D virtual model. You can view limited number of styles for free, but for $35 you can send them your own photos, which they’ll convert to a 3D model that you can to try out styles on.

One of the big challenges for crossdressers are finding jewelry. Unless you pierced your ears, you’re stuck with clip-on earrings, and it can be challenging finding rings in larger sizes.

• Crazy 4 Clip-ons carries some very nice earrings,


• Cliptomania has a large selection, but I’m not impressed with many of their offering.


• Simply Whispers also carries some nicer-looking clip-on earrings.


• You can also find clip-ons at your local department store.

As far as other jewelry, I realized that plus-sized women must be getting their’s somewhere, so some searching turned up a couple sites:

• Classic Plus Size Jewelry—Carries ring, bracelets and necklaces in larger sizes. Silver and gold, with accompanying price tags, but the silver rings are affordable.


• Winged Elephant—BBW-sized bracelets, necklaces and earings (probably pierced) in stones and glass. Haven’t ordered from them myself.


• Big on Batik—Silver jewelry and rings, including oversized bracelets. Haven’t ordered from them myself.


• Arizona Indian Jewelry—Affordable gemstone-based jewelry, including oversized bracelets. Haven’t ordered from them myself.

Usually it’s a look that’s held a bit too long as people try to figure it out, to an outright
stare—which generally means they have figured it out. I suppose if you go out looking
like crazy Aunt Mabel, people might point and laugh too. This is where it helps to
dress the same way a women would, unless you’re interested in attracting attention. (Some girls do… or if you’re at the Folsom Street Fair (not work safe) or Bay to Breakers, then being in obvious drag ain’t a big deal.)

Women are more likely read you, since 1) they’re constantly checking out other women
(competitve dressing and all that), and 2) men don’t have the experience with hair and
make-up etc. to notice when it’s not quite right, whereas women do.

We’re quite self-conscious because we know what’s we’re up to, but most of the time people are pretty oblivous. I’m 5’10” without heels and broad shouldered, so I’m not exactly a “typical” girl. But I was out last weekend for about two hours and only got overtly read 3-4 times (although undoubtedly more times behind my back). Granted I was wearing sunglasses, which helped, and I’ve worked hard on feminine movement. But mostly people around Fisherman’s Wharf were just busy being tourists and weren’t paying attention. I figure at worse I’m doing my part for the tourism industry by providing local color thatfolks can talk about when they get back to Kansas.While we’re on the topic, it  reminds me of the first time I went out. I was headed out to a
restaurant and of course there was a guy with a first-grader right outside the door. Needless to say, the little boy was fascinated by me—although thankfully the brat kept his mouth shut. But I was so nervous I tripped on the stairs right in front of them. So much for my grand entrance….

The four-pad don’t look the most realistic because of the gaps between the pads, so they’re mostly useful under a dress with a heavier fabric, where the fall of the material conceals things.

If you’re just after a big booty, the padded seat briefs look better because each cheek is one continous piece. (Unfortunately, with me I’ve got well-developed gluts from rollerblading, so I looked like JLo with a load in her pants.) I settled for just standing a little sway-backed, rotating my pelvis back slightly.

In any case, hip-width is far more important in most cases than a big booty. I was out with woman once when we spotted a probable trans woman at a bar. My girlfriend zeroed in on her lack of hips, accentuated by broad shoulders.

You can find hip pads at TG stores and on eBay, however the ones I’ve seen are really too short. If you look at natal women, the hip flare generally begins at the belly button, is widest around the bottom of the pelvis (for the birth canal) and flattens out around mid-thigh. So most of the commercial pads are about half a long as they need to be.

They’ll work with a dress, because the fabric falls away, but they’re not as good for pants. Plus, they need to be positioned relatively high, otherwise the curve doesn’t look right. Fortunately, some women are “high hipped” (meaning the widest part of their hips are more toward the top of the pelvic bone). It also helps to have a top that flares a little at the bottom, this will disguise where the pad begins and gives a more graceful curve from the waist.

One of the things that’s different about Classic Curves’ Veronica 2, is that is extends the proper length. Saving for them myself, but heard great things about them from other girls.

You can also try making some hip pads yourself. Go to a store that sell foam padding (for cushions, etc.) and then carve it down so that it’s got the appropriate shape. Oh, and be sure to put the “shaved” side inward, since it’ll probably be lumpy. No point giving yourself cellulite.

Postscript: I ended up getting a Veronica 2 and it does tend toward the booty-licious as I’d been told by others. But in fairness to Espy, she’s essentially creating a custom garment without the benefit of being able to see someone in person. And as a practical matter it probably makes sense to cut on the generous side initially, since she can trim down the pads, whereas if it’s too small, she’s got to start over with a new set of pads. The fact that she did the alternations without charging for either postage or the rework suggests to me that she assumes adjustments will often be needed. One other I thing discovered is the the waistband is a little loose—I’m guessing Espy assumes people will lie about their weight and waist measurements—so despite the warnings that it fits snugly, it’s a good idea to order it slightly smaller.
For those not willing to drop the necessary cash for a Veronica 2, the “Sweet Cheeks” at Glamour Boutique is an affordable alternative. It uses one pad per cheek and wraps around to the hips. I’d suggest also getting the smaller cloth-covered hips pads as well, since you can place them inside the Sweet Cheeks for broader hips. It’s not as sturdy as the Veronica 2, so you need to treat it carefully, nor do the pads extend far down the thigh, so it won’t give you as good a line if you’re wearing pants in a thinner material. But it’s also a third the price.