A Dahl’s House

A couple things have helped me in dieting:

– Keeping a “food/exercise diary” recording everything you’ve eaten, the exercise you’ve done that day, as well as your weight, waist measurements and body fat percentage (I’ve got one of those scales that does the latter). The point is not to obsess over what you’re
eating, but it’s great way to make you conscious of what you’re eating and how much you’re exercising. It helps prevent absent-minded snacking and blowing off exercise. As far as recording your weight, etc. it may not be for everyone, but it works well for me. I don’t
obsess over minor fluxuations in weight/body fat, since those can be affected by how hydrated you are, but if I’m consistently up or down for a couple days in a row I know there’s a change going on. (I don’t count calories, but just try to eat better, eat less, so sometimes I’ll go up a bit or just plateau, which tells me I need to change my behavior if I want to keep going down.) – Employing the principle of satiation, i.e. often times craving can actually be satisfed in a few bites. Unfortunately, we typically eat far more than that. But if you’ve got the will-power it’s good way to feel like you’re still eating normally. For example, I’ll have a
tablespoon of Haagen Daaz chocolate ice cream, savor it and then put it back in the freezer. Yeah, it’s caloric but in such small quanties you can easily compensate. I’ve also used this to head off snacking. I’ve found Pepperidge Farm’s butterthin crackers to be really useful because they’re quite rich and eating a single one is enough to trick
my body into thinking it’s been feed more than it has. But a single cracker isn’t a lot of calories. A small slice of strongly-flavored cheese, like parmasen regiano, works well too. – Having a “free day.” This can work in two ways. First if I’ve got a craving for something really caloric, say pizza, I tell myself I can have it if I wait until Saturday. Most of the time
when Saturday rolls around, the craving has passed. Second, there was a site I ran across by a personal trainer who’s done a bit of work with transsexuals who were doing some very hard-core dieting. She found that easing up a bit on the weekends not only made the dieting much easier psychologically, but also seemed to prevent the body from going into “starvation mode” and slowing down the metabolism.

I know the following is familiar ground, but just wanted to outline my assumptions. It’s pretty well established there among “early transitioning” transexuals, male-bodied and female-bodied transexuals are relatively mirror images of each other—early conviction that one was born the wrong sex, consistent childhood gender behavior that’s inconsistent
with their birth sex, etc. My assumption is that transgenderism, much like most other human behaviors, is based on some mix of nature/socialization and that it falls along a spectrum.

Running with that assumption, I’m guessing that “late” transitioners have a gender discomfort that’s no less real, but a bit weaker than the “earlys,” which is why they’re able to deny it for some period of time. Moving further along the spectrum, are those who may want to present mostly/full-time as the opposite sex but without HRT or GRS, to those
(like myself) who are happy being part-time crossdresser. (I’ve accepted my crossdressing and go out regularly, so it’s not shame that regulates my desire, but rather reaching a satiation point.) And while gender and sexual preferences are independent, it is notable that most MTF crossdressers are hetrosexual-ish. Obviously correlation doesn’t equal
causation, but it does seem foolish to ignore correlations where they’re observed.

So the question is where are the female-to-male crossdressers? The obvious (and standard) answer is that the greater clothing flexibility afforded to women makes FTM crossdressers a moot point. The other standard answer is that females don’t have sexual fetishes the way males do. The latter point I think is a bit dubious. As for the former point, maybe it’s correct, but it still seems worth investigating rather than taking it on face value.
Especially, since cross-dressing does seem present in the lesbian community from butches of various stripes to the more recent “boi” phenomenon.

So the question is where are the heterosexual female-to-male crossdressers? Raven Kaldera essays mentioned knowing some female crossdressers (of unspecified orientation), so I’d be greatly appreciative of any insights you might
have.

(BTW To digress for a second, it does seem like there are some parallels between MTF crossdressing and female dressing behavior among “typical” females. For example, there’s the MTF phenomenon of “under dressing” that in a sense isn’t that different than females choosing to wear “femme” undergarments under more “masculine” work attire. If I
remember correctly Victoria’s Secret has made this a theme—being “womanly” underneath.)

My thoughts are as follows. I was struck that there is a period in female’s lives that does bear a striking similarity to MTF crossing: tomboyism. In reviewing the literature it does seem like there’s two types of tomboyism. The first and fairly common, is an “expansive”
type, exploring a broader range of behaviors (i.e. playing with dolls and trucks). Whereas the second type, which is far less common, is “rejectionist,” explicitly rejecting girlish appearance and behavior. This latter group shows some strong correlation with later-life lesbianism, bisexuality and/or androgynism. The pressure of adolescence typically put an end to tomboy behavior, but seems likely to me that those whose tomboyism is driven at least partly by some level of gender discomfort don’t lose that driver any more than MTF crossdressers/transgenders do. And certainly we all know heterosexual
females with boy-cuts who wear very little make-up and wear dresses only when they have to—and who aren’t behaving this way due to feminist politics, etc.

But it seems like it’s probably true that these women don’t overtly think of themselves as cross-dressing, in part because of womens’ wardrobe flexibility, but also FTM presentation is more “subtractive” while MTF presentation is “additive.” That’s to say, with the obvious
exception of packing, a female presenting a male mostly involves removing “feminine” characteristics—such as longer, more decorative hairstyles, make-up, more decorative clothes and shoes (and binding for those who are consciously FTM crossdressing)—whereas with MTF crossdressing one must add them. So for a male—particularly since MTF presentation lacks a “middle ground” in society—doing so involves a conscious overt act.
It’s the intent that makes cross-dressing, as I’m forever reminding my fellow crossdressers who whine about women being able to wear pants without being suspect. Although obviously this wasn’t true only a few decades ago…) Whereas I suspect female who dress “unfemme” don’t see it as adopting FTM presentation as much as discarding “girly” things. But I am curious whether females do sometimes intentionally wear “masculine” clothing with the intent of incorporating “masculine” attributes, just as they might wear stereotypically feminine clothing with the intent of attracting men on a Saturday night.

There’s plenty of scents that are unisex. Try searching at the Basenotes Fragrance Directory (under “sex” choose “shared.) 4perfumeinfo.com also has good descriptions and by comparing the men’s and women’s lists, you’ll see which ones are unisex.

FYI, there are different perfumes for different situations—much like day-time vs. evening make-up—as well as different levels of concentrations. Perfume is stronger than men’s cologne, while eau d’toilet is about the same strength. Scentagious has a good beginner’s guide.

Since perfume only lasts about a year (two at most) before starting to degrade, it’s a good idea to get samplers or minis, especially if you’re trying out scents. (The only way to really get a good idea of whether a scent works for you is to wear it.) Samplers are much pricier per ounce, but since you don’t end up
with unused stuff, the cost evens out. You can get samplers at Beautiful Perfumes for a few bucks each.

Foamy face washes generally will remove make-up, although some long-lasting mascaras and lip-sticks might be problematic. I’m partial to Orgins’ Checks and Balances. You do need to be careful about getting it in your eyes, which is a where a gentle formula eye make-up remover can be useful.

The good news is that you really should be using a face wash before you go to bed anyway—that’s one thing supermodels are religious about doing—so you can buy it even if you otherwise need to be discrete.

The lard-like theaterical make-up remover often sold by TG stores isn’t really good for your skin, but will remove just about anything. The only other good point is that is that it can be used without water, so I now keep mine around to put in my emergency “boy bag”
(which has a change of clothes, etc. in case the car breaks down.)

Ran across a link to an interesting primer on make-up by adult film actress Asia Carrera (no I wasn’t surfing for porn, really….) There’s from some naked boobs if you scroll down on the first screen, but it’s otherwise G-rated.

Aside from outlining some basics, what’s useful is that Carrera drastically exaggerates the make-up in order to make it easy to see what’s happening.

It also provides a dramatic example of what make-up can do. Without make-up, Carrera is cute, but not the head-turning sex goddess she is with full war paint. And if it make you feel any better, it takes her two hours to achieve that look.