Thoughts from SF Chronicle columnist Mark Morford.

Seems a funny thing happened on the way to the alternative family: People still have issues. People still have just a tremendous number of hang-ups and emotional dramas regarding family and babies and who the hell gets to shape and mold and influence the consciousness of another human life. Go figure.

This is what we’re learning: It does not matter if you’re Christian or gay or bi, Mormon or neocon or a rainbow-colored leather-clad bear with hair where your legs used to be. Issues arise. Emotions tumble forth. There is, apparently, no perfect way. There is no ideal family structure and quit pointing to your Bible before you hurt yourself—rule No. 1 in all matters reproductive: Never trust musty dogmatic mythology written by angry old men who never had sex. Duh.

We do know one thing. There are only a few key ingredients that work every single time. They are: stability, deep love, laughter, honest communication, solid boundaries, human kindness, balance and chocolate ice cream. That’s about it. There is only the impulse to love and connect and carry on. And maybe, now and then, a good hot bath….

For every success story in the alternative-family sphere, there’s a debilitating wrinkle. It is perhaps no better—or worse—than traditional structures. But for every major falling-out and nasty emotional entanglement, there’s a mad success story resulting in a glorious kid (or three) who will be raised with a funky and fresh perspective on family and parenting which, oh my God, we so desperately need in this culture right now that we might as well be in a desert pleading for water.

It would seem there is no escaping the human drama. It would seem there is no way around personal issues of life and sperm and DNA and pulse. You may thump your revisionist Bible, you may cite your lopsided studies, you may wave your freak flags high, but the truth is, we are here on this planet to work toward the new. We are here to adapt and evolve and try to clue into the Mystery. And playing with reproduction and family structure is one hell of an often glorious, often tortuous way to do exactly that. What, you thought we were all done? Not even close.