Donna related an experience of a woman coming up to her on the subway and telling her “I know what you are”—only to turn out the woman said, “That’s right! You’re Jewish, aren’t you! I can tell from your nose!” instead of that Donna was transsexual.

Which, as Helen noted, was an interesting illustration of how what you’re thinking might not match what someone else is thinking when you think you’re getting read.

Interestingly my Pilates instructor, C., had a similar thought along those lines. I’d been telling her about my weekend, including going to the mall and getting stared it. She wanted to know why I assuming the worse, saying she’d stared at trans people before (I’m the first one she knows personally) but that was because she was admiring the artistry and skill they showed in their presentation.

In a different forum, some of the women pointed out of that women generally get looked at more in public in men do—so it could be simply that instead of being read.

And the woman who helped me find my latest wig and otherwise improving my appearance warned me that being prettier meant I would probably catch more people’s eyes—and I needed to decide whether I was ready for that.

So as long as no one’s giggling, I can at least tell myself there are reasons I might be getting stared at that aren’t the ones I fear.