Tomorrow is the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, created to memorialize those who were killed—more than one person per month over the last decade—due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. For me, this year it’s personal, since I got to know the mother and sister of a transwoman, Krystal Heskin, who was killed near Chicago last April.

Locally, there will be events in both San Francisco (starting at 6:30 p.m. at the San Francisco LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street with a march to Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, 16th and Dolores streets, for a memorial event starting at 7:30) and in San Jose (7 p.m. at the Billy DeFrank LGBT Community Center, 938 The Alameda). Join us.

While there’s sometimes acrimony between the LGB and T communities—and sadly too often within the T communities too—it’s worth remembering that those who hate us—and sometimes attack and even kill us—don’t bother with the sort of distinctions we sometimes obsess over ourselves.

Finally, much as it’s important to remember our dead, it’s equally important to remember our living. There are still many fights to be fought. Crossdressers in particular need to become engaged. On various crossdressing forums, it’s not uncommon to hear the complaint: “but women can wear whatever they want.” (Which ain’t exactly true, but that’s another post.) Guess what, women earned the right to wear pants, to have a broader range of gender expression.

Crossdressers are notoriously politically inactive (although it should be noted that while crossdressers rarely leave the closet, a number transsexuals disappear back into the woodwork as soon as they’re able). So the “transgender” organizations end up being predominently made up of transsexuals, and not surprisingly, even with the best of intentions, it’s their interests that become top priority. I’m not saying their concerns are unimportant, just that we crossdressers have our own concerns that are also important—and it’s unrealistic to expect them to be given top priority if we’re having some else carry our water for us. So if we want our voices to be heard, we need to speak up for ourselves.

(Admittedly, it’s tough. The Catch-22 is that because of the stigma, the vast majority of us are reluctant to put ourselves in a position where we may be in the public eye. How many transsexuals would out themselves if they could avoid it? I’m still figuring out how to negotiate the issue of activism and privacy myself. It would a lot easier if I were just fully out, but I confess I’m not quite ready for that step yet.)

But act we must.