I would be more out of the closet if…
Andrea posed this question over at the Betty boards and I was struck by people’s honesty in sharing their fears. For myself:
...if I knew that I wouldn’t hurt me professionally. I don’t think it would, but who wants to find out the hard way.
...if wouldn’t cause my family to worry. I’m pretty sure they’d be accepting. But I can see where they might be worried for me.
Initially when I answered the question, I mentioned being worried about being ostracized by people I know. But on reflection, I realize all my friends and acquaintances who I’ve told have been pretty accepting. If I come out to someone who’s not—well, then they weren’t really good friends anyway.
But one thing does give me pause:
...if my crossdressing wouldn’t overshadow everything else when people think of me. (Sort of like how it’s never “comedian Eddie Izzard,” it always seems to be “transvestite comedian Eddie Izzard.”) I’m perfectly happy to be seen as a crossdresser—it’s just that “crossdresser” is only part of who I am.
So for the time being, selective disclosure works for me.
January 31st, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Interesting question. Many of your reasons are fairly similar to mine – though I am less concerned about the professional side.
On the other hand, I would be VERY concerned about the impact on my kids. Yes, I know that many trans people are out to their children, and acceptance tends not to be an issue…but at the same time childhood is tricky enough without having to deal with the inevitable peer problems that would likely result from having a crossdressing father.
The notion of crossdressing overshadowing everything else is a very interesting one…I have had thoughts that indirectly get to this point, but you have very succinctly distilled the concern. (Thanks by the way—you saved me a bunch of banal blogging trying to put my finger on this idea!)
Erica