A Dahl’s House

Zoe, soap opera’s first trans character on “All My Children,” headed back to London this week (in time for actor Jeffrey Carlson to start rehearsing for his stage appearance in “Hamlet.”) Like a lot trans people, I was a bit skeptical initially given both the publicity-stunt manner in which the story line was introduced, and the choice of Zarf—a one-named David Bowie-esque flambouyant rock star—to be the character who transitioned. But like a lot of AMC fan, I was won over.

It was far from perfect, AMC wasted a lot of time setting up Zoe as a red herring suspect in their “Satin Slayer” serial killer story line, and then rushed through many aspects of Zoe’s transition. (For example, Zoe’s mother went from trying to convince Zoe she was delusional to accepting PLAG mom in a mere two episodes.) Would be it were that easy. Then AMC pissed off a good chunk of its lesbian audience by having a budding romance between Zoe and Bianca, AMC’s resident gold-star lesbian (more about that in a bit), and the “live and let live” message was a bit heavy-handed at times.

But on the whole, I think it did a tremendous amount of good. I’ve been hanging out at the message boards over at Soap Central and was pleasantly surprised at the warm reception that Zoe received from most people. Of course it probably helped that 1) Carlson is a hugely talented actor, who a lot of the hetro female viewers seemed to have a crush on, and 2) for long time viewers the story line was an interesting change of pace from the usual cheating lovers, stolen babies, amnesiacs, etc. The fans were far more unaccepting of poor writing than of Zoe.

Speaking of which, one of the major missteps was the budding romance between Zoe and Bianca—which Zoe put the brakes on, out of concerns that with her transition it wasn’t the right time to start a relationship (although seemingly the door was left open for something down the road). Which upset a number of lesbians who’d been supportive of Zoe previously. It’s hard know how widespread the discontent was, but those who were opposed to the relationship were pretty vocal

A bit part of the problem is that Bianca is apparently the only lesbian in Pine Valley—and one of the few gay or lesbian characters on any soap opera. So rather than being seen as a lesbian, she’s seen as the representative of the lesbian communities, so needless to say, people are quick to say “that’s not me!”. Whereas if there had been more lesbians on AMC, people might have been receptive to the idea that some lesbians do fall in love with transwomen—which in fact happens.

Now the lesbians critics did have some good points. Bianca’s only sexual experience with a man came when she was raped by one, so yes, it was less likely she’d be attracted to someone with a penis, even if Zoe saw herself as a woman. And this is where AMC’s shortcuts with the storyline showed. It would have been truer to Bianca’s character (and to real life) if Bianca had gone through a bit of “I never thought I’d be attracted to” soul-searching. But I doubt some of the lesbians would’ve accepted the romance under any circumstances: since Zoe had a penis, no “lesbian in good standing” could possibly be attracted to her. To which I think the male partner of a transwoman (featured on the MSNBC program called “Born in the Wrong Body”) had the best reply: “Say you like hamburgers but you don’t like fries, and someone offers you a happy meal—you’re not going to turn down the whole thing just because there’s one part of it you don’t like.”

Ironically, the hetro female fans didn’t have a problem with the relationship, in fact many of them were entranced by it. Part of it was that Carlson and Eden Riegel, the actress playing Bianca, had real chemistry. Part of the difference simply may have been the visuals. Although Carlson is on the androgynous side, the lesbians viewers seemingly were stuck on seeing a man in a dress and couldn’t get past it. Whereas the hetro female viewers may have been unconsciously attracted by the same thing.

It’s hard to say, but Zoe may have also helped paved the way for the warm reception given Mike Penner, a prominent sports columnist for the Los Angeles Times (whose columns are reprinted in a number other papers), who on Thursday announced to readers that she was a transsexual and would be returning in a few weeks as Christine Daniels with the full support of her editors. (Daniels apparently was just taking some time off, rather going for surgery, since follow-up articles indicated that she was just beginning hormones and cross-living.) The reaction: The highly personal column became one of the most heavily viewed stories in the last year, with about half a million page views. Nearly 1,000 readers commented on the LA Times’ website, the vast majority overwhelming positive. Daniels personally received 538 emails, only two of them negative.

In additional to continuing her sports column, Daniels will also be blogging about her transition for the Times. Daniels put it best: “I want to thank all of you for transforming a day I had feared for decades into a day that will carry me over the bumps and potholes that doubtlessly await as I move forward on this journey.”

I upgraded WordPress to the latest version and somehow it broke the links to other blogs. Grrr…. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get it fixed soon.

I finally made my first semi-official appearances as a drag queen the past two Sundays. For me, drag has a different appeal than crossdressing. This column summed it up well:

the drag queen’s message is this: Yes, I’m a gay man, and if you’re going to think I’m a girl, I’ll show you the fiercest, strongest, most beautiful girl you can imagine

OK, so the gay man part doesn’t fit, but being a glamazon does, as does embracing my inner performer. Admittedly, some drag queens can be quite misogynistic, but I haven’t seen that with the queens I hang out with. (Maybe it’s because they’re “glamour queens” rather than “camp queens” for the most part.)

The 15th was a fundraiser for Sister Uma Gawd, of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, who’s doing the AIDS/Life Cycle ride in June. So there were a lot of queens there to help put the penguin on her bike and Marlena’s was packed.

I lucked out the day before and found a brown satin dress with beading at Ross, and I’d hit the MAC Pro store for a new drag look. Unfortunately, even with the write-up from the artist and some photos, I couldn’t quite replicate the eye shadow. Sigh. Rushed to get out of the house and up to San Francisco, only to discover that things were running on drag time— we didn’t actually get started until an hour after the official start time. My first number was Rickie Lee Jones’ “Danny’s All Star Joint,” a wonderful jazzy piece. For my second number, I supposed to do “The Adultress” by The Pretenders, but the DJ cued up the wrong track. Thankfully, it was “Message of Love,” which I knew equally well so the show was able to go on. All-in-all I had a blast, and even had some adoring fans who wanted their pictures taken with me afterwards.

This past Sunday was the birthday for someone who’s active in the Imperial Court, a local charitable group. The crowd was pretty light compared to the previous Sunday, mostly a lot of the Marlena’s regulars. I was wearing the dress in the photo and was hoping to have the actual drag hair as well. (My friend Patsy was going to style one of my wigs—hairspraying it within an inch of life—but unfortunately she wasn’t able to finish it in time.) I even had a new drag name: “Joy de Vivre.” There was only one problem: Miss Galilea (last year’s Empress of San Francisco), who was MCing the entertainment, couldn’t pronounce the last name. Not sure if I’ll need to go back the drawing board.

I finally got to do “The Adultress” and had a good reception from the crowd. I even picked up $14 in tips. But by the time it was time do my second number, things had thinned out and it was real challenge to try to play to a distracted room. In part, I realized that the song—Joan Osborne’s “Right Hand Man”—wasn’t quite right. On paper it seemed good: a rollicking number about just having had some really good sex. But the lyrics get bit repetitive toward the end and I was starting to feel like I was on stage for a loooong time. Not sure whether it would’ve work better had there been a full house, or whether I’ll need to edit it down a bit. (There’s a real challenge in finding good songs—the tempo has to be right, the vocals need to start fairly quickly, the instrumental breaks can’t be too long. Fortunately, I’ve got the software to edit tracks as needed.)

But with every performance I get a bit more experience. So now I’m keeping an eye out for more benefits—which often will take whoever wants to take the stage. And I’m hopeful that I may occasionally get to do an unpaid number for the Hayes Valley Follies (Saturday nights at Marlena’s). While I wouldn’t want to perform every weekend, I’ve definitely gotten addicted to the stage lights.

Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you’ve got no desire to leave the house, that’s fine, I’m not trying to push you out the door. But for those who’ve been yearning to do so, I just want to let you the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

Finally getting a chance to get caught up…

Attended the California Dreamin’ conference in San Jose last weekend. It’s funny, when I first started going out in public two years ago I was really looking forward to attending a transgender conference. For a number of closeted trans people, these sorts of conferences are the only time they get to spend an extended amount of time as their desired gender. But since I go out in public pretty regularly, that alone wasn’t very motivating. Plus the seminars were heavily weighted toward those on the transition track. As it turned out, the sessions on GRS were packed, so obviously they were crowd pleasers, but on the whole, I was having trouble finding a full day of sessions that I was interested in attending. So I wasn’t that enthusiastic, but since I know the organizer, there was a bit of feeling obligated to make an appearance. It didn’t help that my friends Marla and Rachel, who I was supposed to have dinner with, ended up having to cancel at the last minute.

But nonetheless I got up at 6 a.m. to start getting ready. (Note to organizers of trans conferences: starting a 9 a.m. is a wee bit early for us poor crossdressers, who take longer to get ready.) I was already running behind, when my landscaper contractor dropped by to look at a bit of the yard where I want some work done. Then just as he was leaving, the gardeners came a half-hour early. Grrr…. I’m at a point where I don’t necessarily care if people find out about my crossdressing, but I just wasn’t ready to deal with coming out on a Saturday morning, so I had to lay low inside the house for a half hour.

Unfortunately that mean I missed the first session of the day, which was about choosing and caring for your wig. I caught a little bit of the Q&A, which made me even more irritated since it seemed it had some good info. But my mood got better when I found out about a last-minute addition of a session on how to take good photos, put on by the owner of Adam to Eve and photographer she works with. The two also were offering a mini-shoot in the vendor area—a great deal at the price. Looking forward to some of the shots taken.

In the afternoon Denae Doyle put on a great session about “Sensual Moves.” (Doyle is a “femininity coach” who works with both beauty pageant contestants as well as transwoman and crossdressers.) Apparently Doyle has wanted to do this topic for awhile—although it apparently freaks out gender therapists because it involves learning how to move and dance “sexy.” Doyle did point out there’s a time and place for it. To paraphrase “Spiderman”: with great power comes great responsibility. The interesting thing to me was that she was teaching people how to dance with the sort “talking with your hands” hand movements that I’ve always had to rein in while dancing en homme.

At the end of the session, Doyle mentioned that she could do a private session—and since I’d been wanting to meet with her for ages, I leapt at the chance. Doyle does teach what’s been called “beauty pageant femininity,” i.e. it’s a bit on the stereotypical femmy side (Doyle herself was raised in “Texas high femme” where women get done up to go to the store), but being a little exaggerated makes easier to learn and one can always dial it back. Doyle had some good suggestions on how to move differently—unfortunately I really need a bit more flexibility to do it. So I’ve got a bit of stretching to do. She also helped me with my voice. It turns out I’d been approaching things backwards (trying to still the lower vocal cords when I should be trying to use only them). I was actually able to get a much more realistic voice, albeit only for short sentences, but that was enough to give me incentive to practice more.

So when all was said and done, it turned out to be very enjoyable day.

Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you’ve got no desire to leave the house, that’s fine, I’m not trying to push you out the door. But for those who’ve been yearning to do so, I just want to let you the world may not be as scary a place as you think.

Now that Don Imus has gotten fired I was going to write about the lack of outrage about fellow shock jock Michael Savage’s belittling of a murdered transwoman two weeks ago. Imus has 2.5 million listeners, Savage has 8 million—and like Imus this is far from the first time he’s crossed the line. But Mari Abernathey stated things far better than I can:

Ann Coulter – Called one man a faggot.

Don Imus – Called a team “nappy headed hoes.”

Michael Savage – Called a murdered transwoman a psycho freak. “Yeah, process of becoming a woman — psychopath. [She] should have been in a back ward in a straitjacket for years, howling on major medication.” “But you know what? You’re never gonna make me respect the freak. I don’t want to respect the freak. The freak ought to be glad that they’re allowed to walk around without begging for something.“

Ann Coulter’s punishment – Net Bank, Verizon, Washington Mutual, AT&T/Cingular, Dollar Rent-A-Car, SmileTrain.org, University of Phoenix, Sallie Mae, LasikPlus, Power Chord Academy, Gulf Shores.com/Alabama Gulf Coast Convention and Visitors Bureau, Ulta.com, and Yellow Pages.com all stopped advertising at Coulter’s web site. The Oakland Press , The Mountain Press, The Times of Shreveport, La, The American Press, and the Lancaster New Era have stopped publishing her columns. HRC started a letter writing campaign to other papers that carry her.

Don Imus – Staples Inc., Bigelow Tea, and Procter & Gamble pulled advertising. MSNBC removed Imus in the Morning completely. CBS Radio suspended him for two weeks. There was even a protest on the campus of Rutgers University.

Michael Savage-

That’s right, not one repercussion. No press release. No protest. No outrage. Nothing.

GLAAD? HRC? NGLTF? NCTE? GPAC? ANYONE?

Hello?

I like the concept. While we shouldn’t forget our dead, we also shouldn’t let the dead bury the living. From Pam’s Blend:

On Friday, April 6th, San Diego will be celebrating our fourth annual Transgender Day Of Empowerment (TDOE). Originally conceived by Project STAR Director Tracie O’Brien in 2003, this is an “opposite day” to the international Transgender Day Of Remembrance (TDOR).

TDOR is an important day set aside to annually memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. TDOE, on the other end of the spectrum, is a day set aside for transpeople (like me) and our significant others, friends, families, and allies to celebrate transgender history and future, as well as celebrate our transseniors and our transyouth.