A Dahl’s House

First let me offer my congratulations on this joyous day. It’s been far too long in coming.

Now I hope you’ll indulge my taking a moment to note that it was a trans man who was the lead attorney in the marriage equality case, the one who made the oral arguments to the California Supreme Court that marriage won’t be worth less if more can take part in it. More importantly, I’d ask you to remember Shannon and his dedication to this cause when ENDA (the Employment Non-Discrimination Act) comes up for a vote in Congress again and the “virtually normal” gay and lesbian crowd claims that trans and gender variant people (who can also be LGB or even hetero) should be excluded because supposedly we haven’t done jack to deserve anti-discrimination protections. In the spirit of the day let me mention:

Something old
Trans people have part of the LGBT communities – and fighting for LGBT rights – for decades. As the authors of “Gay L.A.” noted:”We choose to call our book Gay L.A. because, as our older informants told us, ‘gay’ in the 1930s, ‘40s, ‘50s, and ‘60s was the term that included homosexual men, lesbians, transgenders, and even bisexuals.” A few highlights:

In 1895 a group of New York “androgynes” organized The Cercle Hermaphroditos “to unite against the world’s bitter persecution” – two years before the world’s first gay liberation organization, nearly 30 years before the first known gay activist group in the United States and nearly six decades before the first long-lasting gay and lesbian rights groups.

In the 1960s, trans man multi-millionaire Reed Erickson was the major funder (to the tune of $2 million—more than $1 billion in today’s dollars) of ONE Inc., one of the first gay rights organizations, which won a landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision.

In 1965, Dewey’s Lunch Counter in Philadelphia was the target of the first LGBT sit-in, after the diner refused to serve young gay and trans patrons in what were euphemistically called “non-conformist clothing.” In 1966, trans woman fed up with police harassment turned into “screaming queens” and rioted at Compton’s Cafeteria in San Francisco. In 1969, trans woman and drag queen Sylvia Rivera threw one of the first bottles at Stonewall and later was a tireless advocate for queer rights.

Despite Rivera’s efforts, within a few years New York’s gay rights establishment dropped drag queens and trans people from its civil rights agenda and Rivera was physically prevented from speaking at the 1973 Stonewall commemoration. Sadly this was part of a larger anti-trans backlash within not only the gay communities but also among lesbians, where trans women – such as Beth Elliot, who had been vice president of the pioneering lesbian rights group, the Daughters of Bilitis – were systematically outed and purged from lesbian feminist circles, and where Janice Raymond’s notoriously transphobic 1979 book, “The Transsexual Empire,” became lauded reading.

Still, trans people continued to fight for the gay and lesbian communities. Connie Norman was a nationally known AIDS activist during the 1980s, who also pioneered the first commercial radio talk show programs on gay and lesbian issues.

Unfortunately, people like Norman weren’t enough to change these widespread transphobic attitudes. In 1993, the gay and lesbian organizers of the “March on Washington” – one of the largest civil rights demonstrations in history – decided to include bisexuals, but refused to include “transgender” as part of the name of the protest. And when the 1999 murder of soldier Pfc. Barry Winchell was turned into a gay rights cause celeb, forcing President Bill Clinton to order a review of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” gay activists and the gay press suppressed a critical, but inconvenient truth – Winchell wasn’t killed for being gay, but because he was a heterosexual man in love with trans woman (which Winchell’s killers assumed made him gay).

Something new
By all accounts, when ENDA is reintroduced next year it will be stripped of protections for gender identity and expression. This isn’t a “trans-less” ENDA as it’s often referred to – it’s an ENDA without protections for anyone (even heteros) who isn’t straight-acting enough. Employers may not be able to fire you if you’re gay or lesbian, but they’ll still be able to fire you for being too nelly or too butch. In fact, a GenderPAC survey found that a third of gay, lesbian and bisexual respondents who suffered workplace discrimination said it was due at least in part to their gender expression and another 10 percent said it was due strictly to their gender expression.

Something borrowed
From a July 1990 flier by Queer Nation: “We are Queer Nation. We are here to promote unity between all people—some of whom are like us, most of whom are not. We do not necessarily expect to understand the differences between our cultures, our desires, our beliefs, but we do seek to increase respect and acceptance for all our differences so that we may move into the twenty-first century with joy and dignity.”

Whether the “virtually normally” crowd likes it or not, gender variance is, for the foreseeable future, going to be linked to sexual variance. That’s the thing about being “othered,” you don’t get any choice in how others perceive you. No matter how straight-acting folks like Andrew Sullivan like to portray themselves, the haters are still going to invoke the specter of diesel dykes and flaming nellies. No matter how loudly a few (sadly homophobic) trans people insist they’re heterosexual-I-said-heterosexual-dammit, the haters are still going to call them queers.

Lesbians, gays, bisexuals and trans people are all minorities. (Just for the record, a number of trans people are also lesbian, gay or bisexual.¹) We have to work together to move our causes forward. We also have to rely on allies who aren’t LGBT. Just as trans people, being a minority within a minority, have to rely on the LGB communities as allies. As Ben Franklin once said, we can either hang together or we can be hanged separately.

Something blue
I know that a number of you from states without marriage equality are irate about the “go slow” request from the ACLU and a half-dozen major LGBT organizations, asking people not to file lawsuits in your home states to have your marriages recognized there. (These groups fear that losing court cases outside California will set back the cause.) I hope you’ll remember those feelings of disappointment, dismay and anger when the incrementalists like Barney Frank and John Aravosis once again tell trans and gender variant people to step aside and wait patiently for anti-discrimination protections “because the public just isn’t ready.” Which is an odd argument really, since surveys show far more support for protecting trans and gender variant people from discrimination than for marriage equality.

I suppose that’s why the other canard is that trans people haven’t done enough lobbying work – ignoring the fact that we’ve been working for anti-discrimination protections since 1980. If we weren’t part of the “official” campaign for ENDA until a few years ago, it was because we had to spend at least a decade convincing gay and lesbian lobbying groups that our rights matter too, and that we should be allowed to join their efforts. Nonetheless, we still helped the LGB communities win a number of state and local anti-discrimination measures that included not only protections for sexual orientation, but also gender identity and expression.

Anyway, I don’t mean to be the ghost at the wedding banquet. This is your day, savor it in the fabulicious style that I know you will.

Best wishes, and may you have long and happy marriages,
Lena

Note: Thanks to historian Susan Stryker whose research provided many of the historical examples.

¹ It’s often easier to talk about whether trans people are attracted to men or women (or both), because their perceived sexual orientation changes with their perceived gender. Those who transition from male-to-female early in life typically are attracted to men and most female-to-male transitioners are attracted to women, so they go from being seen as gays and lesbians to being seen as hetero women and men. Transsexuals who transition from male-to-female late in life typically are attracted to women and female-to-male transitioners who are attracted to men go from being seen as hetero men and women to being seen as lesbians and gay men. So the vast majority of transitioners find themselves seen as homosexual at some point in their lives.

It’s wall-to-wall marriages on the 11 o’clock news and I’m getting teary-eyed. I’m just so overjoyed that my friends who want to get married, finally, at long last, can. Marriage isn’t worth less just because more can take part in it.

A matter-of-fact, but disturbing essay by a retired gynecologist who saw and treated almost every complication from self-induced/backroom abortions that one could imagine:

The familiar symbol of illegal abortion is the infamous “coat hanger” — which may be the symbol, but is in no way a myth. In my years in New York, several women arrived with a hanger still in place. Whoever put it in — perhaps the patient herself — found it trapped in the cervix and could not remove it.

However, not simply coat hangers were used.

Almost any implement you can imagine had been and was used to start an abortion — darning needles, crochet hooks, cut-glass salt shakers, soda bottles, sometimes intact, sometimes with the top broken off….

It is important to remember that Roe v. Wade did not mean that abortions could be performed. They have always been done, dating from ancient Greek days.

What Roe said was that ending a pregnancy could be carried out by medical personnel, in a medically accepted setting, thus conferring on women, finally, the full rights of first-class citizens — and freeing their doctors to treat them as such.

helen has been pondering on how ironically some radical feminists and trans women find common ground: their hatred of drag queens—and was wondering why some trans women find drag queens so threatening.

I thought Daniel Harris, in “The Rise and Fall of Gay Culture,” made a pretty asute observation:

If traditional forms of drag tended to dress upscale, aiming to achieve the glamour and elegance of the inaccessibly remote celebrity, more contemporary forms of drag dress downscale, revolving around the absense of glamour and elegance, around the barbaric and the crude, the beer-can curler, bunny bedroom slippers, and ratty negligees of bedraggled housewives. It is perhaps because kitsch plays such an important political function in the aesthetic of contemporary drag that many feminists mistakenly believe that drag queen are misogynistic, when in fact they are taunting, not women in particular, but complacent hetrosexuals in general. The drag queen orchestrates a brilliant stylistic reprisal against the leisure-suited chauvinists sitting in the Naugahyde La-Z-Boys beneath the velvet paintings, exacting an eye for an eye, a clutch purse for a clingy tube top.” (Pg. 214)

(That’s not to say some drag queens aren’t misogynistic. Unfortunately, I’m seen some myself. FWIW, I find that’s more common in the “shock drag” types that Harris talks about than among old school “glamour queens” like myself—though the latter can be prone to “women these days just don’t know how to look good, act feminine, etc.” sexism. Again, I think Harris offers another good insight: “This new breed of drag queen is so ambivalent about the stereotypically effeminate behavior of the old-style swish that he attempts to deflate his costome, turning it into a knee-slapping farce.” It’s similar to the inevitable buffoonary of straight guys who crossdress for Halloween, or a fundraiser or because they lost a bet—it’s a way of signaling, “this is just for laughs, I’m not doing it because I might actually enjoy wearing a dress, no sirree, not at all.”

For trans women there’s of course the whole conflation issue that Jude touched on over at helen’s blog—i.e. often gay men and occasionally lesbians just assume “hat the way I move through the world is one big performance that I will be ending at some point by pulling off a wig and declaring in a husky voice ‘fooled you!’” (Ironically, Jude says this never happens in straight circles.)

But I also wonder if there’s not an element of envy for some. If you were closeted for years, obsessed with passing and fitting in, to see someone who just doesn’t give shit if someone sees her as a guy in a dress, who seeks to be the center of attention… well I can see how that could trigger a lot of envy.

I was all set to write a happy little post about Christian Siriano retiring his catch phase, “hot tranny mess.” Apparently someone clued him in that it might be offensive after he compared drag queens and trans people to “white trash.” Maybe the light went on after hot pissed-off trans actress Candis Cayne ripped him a new one after he used the phrase on stage at the Logo NewNextNow Awards that she was hosting. Maybe he even read my open letter about why it’s so not fierce when “tranny” is used by someone who isn’t trans.

I was willing to overlook that it was one of those not-quite-an-apology “I wish that my words were not taken in that way” apologies that’s all too common with public figures these days. And yes, he even mentioned that some of his best friends are trans. (BTW Christian, if you’re reading this, just a heads-up, we trans people don’t exist solely to provide you with fashion inspiration.) As I said before, I think it just never occurred to him that as a self-described “very flamboyant gay man” that he could say something that’s considered derogatory speech, and I’m willing to overlook all that because I’m just glad that he publicly said he’d stop and maybe, just maybe, that would get other people to think twice about using it as a catch phrase.

What’s got me not-so-happy are the comments on various gay blogs about how trans people are overreacting and picking on poor little Princess Puffysleeves. How come you’re so humorless? Gawd you’re so P.C. Can’t you see it’s a just a joke? What’s the big deal anyway? We call each other faggots all the time, it’s no big deal. Get it over! Not to mention, I’m sick of being hounded for not being properly appreciative of T people.

Funny how those arguments sound oh so familiar. I’ve heard the exact same things when I’ve asked clueless straight kids not to use “that’s so gay” as a put-down. Or when women ask not to be called “bitches” and “hos.” Or when the Sambo’s restaurant chain was pressured to change its name.

To be honest, I had more respect for the out-and-out haters – did you know I’m a “breeder with a mental disorder”? – because at least with them there was no pretense. They’d probably get along swimmingly with the conservative bloggers (who I won’t dignify with links) who had these recent headlines: “Shame on Dennis Hastert for joining tranny lobbist firm” and “Boycott NBC and its tranny sympathizers.” (Companies that value LGBT diversity, the horror!)

And of course there was this: don’t you have bigger things to worry about?

Well, yeah, actually I do. Trans people face hate crimes at a rate up to 16 times higher than gays and lesbians, yet we have to fight to be included in anti-hate crime laws. There’s some segments of the trans communities where only one in four trans people have a full-time job and more than half live in poverty, yet we’re asked to step aside so straight-acting gays and lesbians can get employment non-discrimination protections. Even when formal “transgender” protections are offered, crossdressers like myself are often excluded from them, and out in the every-day world they’re too often ignored anyway.

The thing is, those are huge issues that are going to take time and effort to overcome. Whereas not referring to someone by a term they find offensive is a small thing. A simple thing. The human thing to do.

But evidentially even that is too much effort for some people.

Some of the political chattering class have noted that Ulysses S. Grant’s handling of Robert E. Lee’s surrender at Appottamox offers a good model—and I agree. For those of you who’ve forgotten your high school history classes: Grant was “magnanimous in victory,” not only letting Lee chose the time and place of his surrender, but also agreeing to terms to designed to avoid “an unnecessary humiliation”—treating the Confederates as prodigal fellow citizens rather than an enemy. Grant’s actions went a long way toward reconciling a country split asunder.

However, I think it’s worth point out that Lee’s willingness to accept defeat was also instrumental in bringing about the end of the Civil War. Some of Lee’s officers wanted to continue a guerrilla war—and in fact, a few did so. But Lee’s insistence that the war was over and it that it was time to move on persuaded the rest of the Confederate army to lay down their arms, and is one reason Lee is revered even by those who detest the cause he fought for.

Obviously, the official surrender didn’t ease the bitterness. Many Southerners clung to the “Lost Cause” for decades. Nor do I expect the bitterness (some of it well justified) felt by many of Clinton’s supporters to go away soon. But aside from doing her party good, if nothing else, Clinton isn’t doing herself any favors by her refusal to concede. Memo to Clinton: if the situation were reversed, would you really be willing to take Obama as your vice president if he weren’t willing to accept that you won? Didn’t think so. Originally, the vice president was whoever came in second in the presidential race. There’s a reason that we no longer do it that way: it led to political opponents John Adams (president) and Thomas Jefferson (vice president) being yoked together, with the predictable result the Adams’ presidency was plagued by political infighting as Jefferson sought to—and eventually succeeded in—unseating Adams in the next election.

Finally, while Clinton may envision herself as Rocky Balboa, there’s another sports analogy that apropos: taking one for the team. The L.A. Lakers made their comeback because Kobe Bryant finally realized it wasn’t all about him. Just sayin’...

I was all set to write a happy little post about Christian Siriano retiring his catch phase, “hot tranny mess.” Apparently someone clued him in that it might be offensive after he compared drag queens and trans people to “white trash.” Maybe the light went on after hot pissed-off trans actress Candis Cayne ripped him a new one after he used the phrase on stage at the Logo NewNextNow Awards that she was hosting. Maybe he even read my open letter about why it’s so not fierce when “tranny” is used by someone who isn’t trans.

I was willing to overlook that it was one of those not-quite-an-apology “I wish that my words were not taken in that way” apologies that’s all too common with public figures these days. And yes, he even mentioned that some of his best friends are trans. (BTW Christian, if you’re reading this, just a heads-up, we trans people don’t exist solely to provide you with fashion inspiration.) As I said before, I think it just never occurred to him that as a self-described “very flamboyant gay man” that he could say something that’s considered derogatory speech, and I’m willing to overlook all that because I’m just glad that he publicly said he’d stop and maybe, just maybe, that would get other people to think twice about using it as a catch phrase.

What’s got me not-so-happy are the comments on various gay blogs about how trans people are overreacting and picking on poor little Princess Puffysleeves. How come you’re so humorless? Gawd you’re so P.C. Can’t you see it’s a just a joke? What’s the big deal anyway? We call each other faggots all the time, it’s no big deal. Get it over! Not to mention, I’m sick of being hounded for not being properly appreciative of T people.

Funny how those arguments sound oh so familiar. I’ve heard the exact same things when I’ve asked clueless straight kids not to use “that’s so gay” as a put-down. Or when women ask not to be called “bitches” and “hos.” Or when the Sambo’s restaurant chain was pressured to change its name.

To be honest, I had more respect for the out-and-out haters – did you know I’m a “breeder with a mental disorder”? – because at least with them there was no pretense. They’d probably get along swimmingly with the high-profile conservative bloggers (who I won’t dignify with links) who had these recent headlines: “Shame on Dennis Hastert for joining tranny lobbist firm” and “Boycott NBC and its tranny sympathizers.” (Companies that value LGBT diversity, the horror!)

And of course there was this: don’t you have bigger things to worry about?

Well, yeah, actually I do. Trans people face hate crimes at a rate up to 16 times higher than gays and lesbians, yet we have to fight to be included in anti-hate crime laws. There’s some segments of the trans communities where only one in four trans people have a full-time job and more than half live in poverty, yet we’re asked to step aside so straight-acting gays and lesbians can get employment non-discrimination protections. Even when “transgender” protections are offered, crossdressers like myself are often excluded from them.

The thing is, those are huge issues that are going to take time and effort to overcome. Whereas not referring to someone by a term they find offensive is a small thing. A simple thing. The human thing to do.

But evidentially even that is too much effort for some people.