My drag mother, Nikki, has walking pneumonia, so I drove up to SF tonight to bring her some groceries. On the way back, I was in the far left lane of the freeway when I noticed a motorcycle careening across all five lanes right in front me.

Then I saw it wasn’t turning and was going to hit the center divider.

Then I saw there wasn’t any rider on it.

Slammed on the brakes. The cycle bounced off the center divider. I swerved. It missed me by a matter of inches.

No idea where the rider was, so all I could do was call 911, who already had gotten lots of calls.

Having a very, very stiff drink right now…