I’d run across “Bobbi with an I” by country singer Phil Vassar a few months ago and was intrigued. The song tells the story of the singer’s friend Bobby, a former “linebacker, a quarterback sacker,” who drives a tow truck and bench presses 335—and who shows up one night at the local bar “in his pink party dress.” Jaws drop, but over time nobody gives it a second thought, it’s “just Bobbi with an I.”
Given that country music isn’t known as a bastion of social progressivism it was a pleasant surprise, with a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor (one reason Bobbi gets respect is because “he’s been known to knock a few teeth out if you ask him for a beauty tip”) that doesn’t make Bobbi the butt of a joke. It seemed like Vassar either knew someone who crossdressed, or at least had run across crossdressers hanging out at a bar somewhere.
Vassar just released a music video for the song and it’s got some, ah, interesting differences.
The video adds a prequel where Bobby is invited out by his friends, but demurs because he’s broke. But his eyes light up when his friend mentions “it’s Ladies Night, free drinks for the girls!” Did someone say: free drinks? Cue the music. Bobbi enters the bar, a cigar-chomping burly “man in a dress” (in fact he’s wearing sunglasses to conceal the fact that he’s not wearing any make-up). And in interviews and his “behind-the-scenes” video, Vassar says: “Bobbi is actually a guy I knew—this outrageous guy who showed up at a club one night dressed as a girl. It was just a funny way to pick up chicks.” In other words—it’s all just good fun, it’s a one-time thing, and Bobbi doesn’t really want to be seen as a woman.
I’ll take Vassar at his word, he seems like a decent guy—but also a guy who comes across as savvy enough to know how far he can push things with his fans. Not that that might be a reason the video is at odds with the actual lyrics. (And don’t think too hard about how Bobbi, who’s flat broke, manages on short notice to get decked out in a cocktail dress, high heels, earings, platinum wig, fashionable women’s sunglasses and a black sequin purse, or why he’s got seemingly hairless legs.)
But even if the video undercuts the lyrics, Bobbi’s having a great time, his friends are having a great time, in fact everyone’s having a great time except an eye-rolling old man, who’s presented as a curmudgeonly killjoy. The “big-boned girl with a platinum curl” is the life of the party. As Vassar sings: “That’s how it is, nobody gives a second thought these days.”
Would I have preferred that the video stayed true to its roots and cast someone like Victoria “Porkchop” Parker* as Bobbi? Hell ya. But if the “lite” version ends up making life a little easier for some trans person in some shitkicker bar somewhere, I’m not gonna complain too much.
* Before anyone kvetches, yes I know Porkchop is a gay man who’s a professional female impersonator. But she’s burly enough as a guy to be a convincing Bobby and femme enough to be a Bobbi who would’ve left viewers stunned and amazed.
Just wanted to give a heads-up about the TransOhio’s 2nd Annual Transgender and Ally Symposium coming up on Aug. 14-16 in Columbus.
Helen Boyd, author of “My Husband Betty,” will be the keynote speaker and there are more than 25 workshops and presentations, focusing on:
- Health & Safety
- Legal & Employment Issues
- Partners, Spouses and Family
- Religion and Spirituality
- Youth & Students
- Arts, Culture and Media
All for the low, low price of $10-30. ($50 at the door.) Check it out.
OK, work has been crazy so I’m late on this, but Obama’s fierce urgency of “don’t call us, we’ll call you” on LGBT rights is important enough that I didn’t want to let it go uncriticized unnoticed.
For those of you who don’t follow LGBT issues, the short version is that two weeks ago the Justice Department issued a brief defending the Defense of Marriage Act, which is the law that protects the right of states to not recognize same-sex marriages and denies same-sex married couples federal benefits. Now maybe the Obama administration is obligated, as it argued, to defend the law — although critics quickly found examples of other instances where the Obama administration (like numerous previous administrations) is choosing not to defend or enforce laws they dislike. But they didn’t have to go out of their way to parrot incorporate numerous right-wing talking points including, arguing that same-sex marriages are no more legally valid than than incestuous ones between an uncle and neice. Oh, and Teh Gays aren’t really discriminated against because they can marry any person of the opposite sex they want. onus points for doing so on the anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia Supreme Court decision — you know the one that allowed Obama parents to get married.
For many LGBT people, it was the last straw in a series of disses from the Obama administration, which — despite promises to be a fierce advocate on our behalf — has clearly been wishing we’d just go away. I’m not a big fan of AmericaBlog, but one of their writers astutely diagnosed the problem: political homophobia.
Political homophobes aren’t gay-hating in the traditional sense. In fact, publicly, most are strong supporters of LGBT equality. But, behind closed doors, many Democratic leaders, consultants, Hill staffers and the rest will vociferously argue that there is no political benefit to actually supporting LGBT rights. Political homophobia is rampant among some Democrats. In some ways, it’s worse than blatant homophobia, since we think most Democrats are on our side. And outwardly, they are.
Political homophobia dictates policy in DC more than we’d like to think. I believe it’s happening in the West Wing right now. I’ve been told by several people that while the president’s chief of staff, Rahm Emmanuel, isn’t a homophobe in the traditional way (he always voted the right way when he was in the House), he is always the first person to suggest that his colleagues (and now boss) avoid gay issues. He’d rather not deal with them because he thinks they’re bad politics.
Now, maybe in 1993 that was true. But Rahm, if he truly is the problem behind the throne, doesn’t grasp the change in society over the past two decades. He also doesn’t understand that the American people think Obama is a different kind of politician — one who will do what he says because it’s the right thing to do.
Predictably, Obama defenders came out of the woodwork to tell LGBT people to STFU because “there’s more important things to get done first” — privilege anyone? Or to argue that it’s all part of Obama’s 11th dimensional chess strategy and not to worry our pretty little heads.
On the LGBT side there was definitely some over-the-top vitriolic rhetoric, but people are pissed. Myself, as Jere says, I’m angry, but I’m not burning an effigy (yet).
The thing is… Yes it has only been five months since Obama took office, but it’s been 40 years since Stonewall, 35 years since the first queer non-discrimination bill was introduced in Congress, 16 years since Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was enacted as a “compromise,” 14 years since the Employment Non-Discrimination Act was introduced in Congress (yes folks it’s perfectly legal in 38 states to fire someone for being LGBT), 12 years since marriage discrimination was enshined in federal law, and 7 years since the Matthew Shepard Act to extend federal hate crime protections to LGBT people was introduced in Congress (yes folks, in 18 states there’s no penalty for beating the shit out of targeting someone because they’re gay or bi, and in 39 states there’s no penalty because they’re trans or gender variant).
When a number of bloggers organized a campaign to cut off the gAyTM for DNC fundraising — and resulted in the boycott of a major LGBT DNC fundraiser that reportedly caused a major drop-off in money raised — that the Obama administration hastily started throwing us crumbs: moving expenses for the partners of federal workers, woohoo! As usual Stephen Colbert said it far better than I can. Money quote: “See, he’s giving you things, just not your rights.”
Since then there’s been more crumb-tossing. Such as not appealing the $500,000 judgement in a job discrimination case filed by a trans woman, whose Library of Congress offer job was withdrawn the day after her interviewer found out that she was transitioning. Oh, and a bunch of A-list gays were invited to the White House for a 40th anniversary of Stonewall cocktail party (but no politics please… and no trans peeps of color.) All well and good.
But Mr. Obama the ATM is closed until we see some results. Promises to keep promises aren’t enough.
If you’re an ally, as Jere says, it’s time to step up to the plate.
[D]on’t tell me to calm down. Don’t tell me to be patient. Don’t tell me to trust that the Democrats will get around to my issues. Instead, listen to what we, the actual victims of legal inequality, are concerned about and help us.
And sometimes being an ally means more than just expressing a general belief in equality. Sometimes it requires you joining us in contacting lawmakers, writing blogs, writing letters to the editor, withholding your donations and volunteer hours for politicians and parties who stall on LGBT equality, speaking out, and telling your stories. We need you to make an effort for LGBT equality. The time is now. No more excuses, no more delays, no more empty promises.
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Postscript: my irony-meter broke watching the very same white, well-to-do, well-connected (often conservative) big-name gay bloggers — who told trans people to STFU and sit on their hands quietly when we were dropped from ENDA two years ago — be so full of righteous outrage when they were told the same thing by Obama apologists supporters.