Nicki Osina, owner of rileyjames, another high-end San Francisco boutique that carries Jimmyjane, recalls that she was hesitant at first to carry the brand. She was worried that some customers in the store’s tony Cow Hollow neighborhood might be put off by the prominent display of vibrators among Vivienne Westwood skirts, or that no one would spend so much on a vibrator. Now, she says, she even sells the displays. ‘People are like, if you don’t have the model I want in stock, I want the display. Now.’

Say something to the effect of “thanks, but I’m not interested” or “I’m flattered by your interest, but I’m hanging out with my friends tonight.” You don’t have to make a big deal out of him being a man, although if it’s a “mixed” gay/straight bar, letting him know that you’re not into to men might be appropriate if said in a matter-of-fact way. Then go back to what you’re doing and don’t act intimidated. So far it’s worked for me.

If he doesn’t take no for an answer, then let the management know you’re being bothered. That’s one reason I tip well, it tends to make the bartenders be protective of their good customers. If they make a scene with him, then it is wise to be safety conscious leaving afterwards and perhaps have someone walk you to your car.