A Dahl’s House

One of the hassles on being a “public crossdresser” is shaving—yeah, I shave my arms, chest and legs once or twice a week. I’ve found that hair conditioner works really well as a lubricant—the moisturizer is actually the “secret ingredient” in “adult” shaving lotions.

One challenge is finding a conditioner that doesn’t have a lot fragrance in it. Besides being a bit… aromatic… afterwards—given the amount that I’m putting on myself—fragrances are also often irritating to your skin. I had been using a conditioner from http://www.cosmeticscop.com/ (the company owned by the woman who wrote “Don’t Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me”—an must-have “Consumer Reports”-style guide to make-up and skin care products).

But yesterday I was at Trader Joe’s and noticed they had a store-brand hair conditioner. So I gave it the sniff test. Minimal scent—and about half the price of the Paula’s Choice conditioner. I’ve got no idea how well it works on hair, but as a shaving lotion it works pretty well. It’s a little thicker, so if it dries out it can clog the razor, but at the price I’ll put up with it.

Over at My Husband Betty, we’ve been having one of our fluffier discussions: what lipstick do you use?

I’ve got a couple different shades that I use: MAC’s Taupe (not really taupe) with Spice lip liner is a good neutral day-time shade.

For evening or drag I tend to use Viva Glam IV (rose with gold) with Brick lip liner, or Media (reddish purple) with Vino lip liner, both of which are matched to the eye shadow/blush I’m wearing.

Both lip balm and foundation are helpful. Lip balm to prevent chapping, and a light coat of foundation will help the lipstick stay on. (Foundation does lighten your lips a bit, so you need to compensate by going a little dark with the shade of lipstick.) FWIW, a friend of mine claims that different brands can make a difference. For example, she finds MAC’s Russian Red really drying, but found the same shade elsewhere that works fine.

FYI, Paula’s Choice has the best lip brush I’ve seen—it holds a point like nothing else.

FWIW, one tip I learned: if you use a lip liner, first outline your lips, then lay the pencil on its side and feather inward. This both gives you lips a fuller look (since the edges of your lip will be slightly darker than middle, and avoids the “Joan Crawford look” if your lipstick wears off.

I’ve been a huge fan of Paula Begoun’s “Don’t Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me,” a telephone-book sized, Consumer’s Report-style guide to what’s good, bad and ugly in cosmetics and skin-care products. While there are good products out there, there’s also a huge amount of hype that Begoun cuts through. (Just remember, more expensive doesn’t necessarily mean better.) Unfortunately, the book (which you can probably find at the library) has become a bit dated.

The good news is that Begoun has a free 23-page report, “Best of Beauty 2006,” which provides an update with both trends (which cosmetic brands have revamped their lines) as well as specific product picks (at a variety of price points). Definitely worth reading.

Why it’s useful the drop into stores even if you’re not seriously looking… Since I was at the mall today, I popped into Lane Bryant and discovered that they had a number of size 11 rings in stock. Woot! (Unfortunately, most women’s rings stop at size 10, so it’s difficult to find things in my size and even Lane Bryant usually doesn’t have them in stock, so they must’ve just gotten a new shipment.) Needless to say, I splurged a bit and picked up four rings, plus a set of earrings.

Zappos has a huge number of shoes in a wide range of sizes, useful user reviews about sizing and free shipping/returns. What’s not to like?
Also check out:

• Avenue, which carries both plus-sized clothing and shoes. I’ve found their Cloudwalkers to be quite comfortable.


• Designershoes.com


• Lane Bryant Catalog—I’m not a fan of their clothing, which is dowdy compared to the Lane Bryant retail stores (which are a separate company), but they’ve got a lot of large-sized shows.


• Pierre Silber has a good range, but leans more toward club/fetish shoes.


• Womenshoesplus.com

Payless Shoes and Nordstorms carry large sizes and Nordstrom’s Rack (their discount outlet) in particular often has large sizes at good prices.

Check out Thebreastformstore.com and call/email Victor for some advice on the best size. They’ve also got size charts on their site, but Victor can help you get the best size and shape. (Not only should your form be proportionate to your size, but if you’ve got large pecs, you may need a form that’s got a curved back in order to fit better.)

It’s better to err on the side of being a little small if you’re interested in going out in public. You can always get a set of bra enhancers if you want an extra boost for certain outfits. I’m normally a C cup, but there’s a couple tops that look better with the bra
filled out a bit more.

BTW, just in case you weren’t aware bra band sizes aren’t your actual chest size, you actually add a couple inches. Shapings.com has the best fit chart  I’ve seen and if your actual measurement is 34, you’re probably either a 38 or 40. For females, if you’re an odd number you go up to the next even size, but since our “breasts” aren’t attached to the chest wall, I find it can be a good idea to go down to the next even size, so that the form doesn’t potentially slide under the bottom of the bra. (That’s what happened once when I was dancing.) It just depends on whether you find a smaller size comfortable. One other thing that complicates sizing is the amount of stretch in an individual bra. I got a cheap bra where I needed to go down to a 40 because it stretched so much and when I got a quality bra from Victoria’s Secret, I discovered I needed to go up to 42 and even that’s slightly small.

BTW, definitely also check out Shaping’s bra fitting info. It can be a challenge, but if it’s any consolation most women don’t wear bras that fit properly either. Fortunately, we don’t need to wear our’s full-time, so a bad fit is annoying but not as critical.

One thing to beware of are breastforms that have “mildly erect” nipples, which may show through clothing—something you may or may wnat. Most women are embarassed at having “headlights,”which is why some bras have a light foam liner and I’ve heard some women will stuff a bit of tissue in the bra over the nipples to hide this.As far as the bra, a “pocket bra,” specially design to hold breastforms, will definitely keep the girls in place, but don’t feel constrained to get a pocket bra. My experience is that any good full coverage bra works fine (if you’re out dancing, etc. additional adhesives are good for a little extra security). If you’re shy you can do mail order—that’s how I bought stuff from Victoria’s Secret. At worse some clerk some where might have suspicions, but you’re just a name to them anyway. But I’ve heard from enough other crossdressers who’ve gone in for bra fittings at Victoria’s Secret or Lane Bryant (whose Cacique line is made by the same manufacter as VS) that you’ll rarely be the first crossdresser they’ve encountered and it’s usually no big deal to them. After a sale is a sale.

There’s plenty of scents that are unisex. Try searching at the Basenotes Fragrance Directory (under “sex” choose “shared.) 4perfumeinfo.com also has good descriptions and by comparing the men’s and women’s lists, you’ll see which ones are unisex.

FYI, there are different perfumes for different situations—much like day-time vs. evening make-up—as well as different levels of concentrations. Perfume is stronger than men’s cologne, while eau d’toilet is about the same strength. Scentagious has a good beginner’s guide.

Since perfume only lasts about a year (two at most) before starting to degrade, it’s a good idea to get samplers or minis, especially if you’re trying out scents. (The only way to really get a good idea of whether a scent works for you is to wear it.) Samplers are much pricier per ounce, but since you don’t end up
with unused stuff, the cost evens out. You can get samplers at Beautiful Perfumes for a few bucks each.

Foamy face washes generally will remove make-up, although some long-lasting mascaras and lip-sticks might be problematic. I’m partial to Orgins’ Checks and Balances. You do need to be careful about getting it in your eyes, which is a where a gentle formula eye make-up remover can be useful.

The good news is that you really should be using a face wash before you go to bed anyway—that’s one thing supermodels are religious about doing—so you can buy it even if you otherwise need to be discrete.

The lard-like theaterical make-up remover often sold by TG stores isn’t really good for your skin, but will remove just about anything. The only other good point is that is that it can be used without water, so I now keep mine around to put in my emergency “boy bag”
(which has a change of clothes, etc. in case the car breaks down.)

You can get a Dermablend sampler kit from Fragrence Wholesale (and undoubtedly other retailers). It’s pretty heavy stuff and the shades are limited. I’ve heard some folks
have had success blending it with a regular foundation to both thin it out and to better
color match their skin. (Fortunately, I’m blonde, so I can get away with some yellow stick
and MAC or Prespectives foundation.)

FYI, the Fragrence Wholesale above requires a $25 minimum order, but they stock two other items that are useful that make meeting the minimum pretty painless:

– The undercover crossdressers’ best friend OPI Matte Nail Envy. It’s a nail strengther that’s not shiny unlike the typical clear polishes—in fact, OPI specifically mentions using it for men. There’s a little shine, like you’ve gotten your nails buffed, but nothing that’s a dead giveaway that you’re wearing polish. It will definitely toughen up your nails and prevent breakage. – Minatures of various perfumes. Yes, the cost per ounce is higher than larger bottles, but
OTOH, perfume degrades after a year or two, so you’re not paying for stuff you’ll probably never get a chance to use.

One of the big challenges for crossdressers are finding jewelry. Unless you pierced your ears, you’re stuck with clip-on earrings, and it can be challenging finding rings in larger sizes.

• Crazy 4 Clip-ons carries some very nice earrings,


• Cliptomania has a large selection, but I’m not impressed with many of their offering.


• Simply Whispers also carries some nicer-looking clip-on earrings.


• You can also find clip-ons at your local department store.

As far as other jewelry, I realized that plus-sized women must be getting their’s somewhere, so some searching turned up a couple sites:

• Classic Plus Size Jewelry—Carries ring, bracelets and necklaces in larger sizes. Silver and gold, with accompanying price tags, but the silver rings are affordable.


• Winged Elephant—BBW-sized bracelets, necklaces and earings (probably pierced) in stones and glass. Haven’t ordered from them myself.


• Big on Batik—Silver jewelry and rings, including oversized bracelets. Haven’t ordered from them myself.


• Arizona Indian Jewelry—Affordable gemstone-based jewelry, including oversized bracelets. Haven’t ordered from them myself.